Sitting In Your Embarrassment

Who hasn't been there? All is well, you're in a quiet restaurant and some kid loses their mind screaming, crying, and yelling. As you turn to look for the mortified parent accompanying that basket case of a child, you realize the child losing their marbles just so happens to be YOURS!

Maybe you turn red? Maybe you do that quick look down to not make eye contact with a single soul or maybe you feel the need to very loudly reprimand, after all everyone is watching! Everyone isn't really watching. Whatever coping strategy you come up with, chances are you've already felt that sweet jolt of embarrassment! I don't care how cool as a cucumber you might be as a parent, at one point or another, our skills are tested and we're put on the spot!

When the moment arises, I want you to know one thing: every parent gets it! Really, even those parents who stare! They understand. They're actually staring and are probably atheists praying inside thanking Jesus, Jah, Allah, AND Johovah that this time it wasn't their kid melting down! Even those people who don't have kids and are secretly judging you as they stare. Yeah, their stares don't matter!

Regardless of the number of stares, I say take a deep breath, sit in your embarrassment and kill that moment with kindness! Might seem odd, I know. Left and right there's opinions about what should be done to punish, discipline and execute tough love! But after all the tough love when you lay your head to rest, how you make your child feel when they "misbehave" matters! The level of patience and confidence you exude really does see you through the embarrassment and doubt to hopefully find calm! It's that same patience and confidence that brings peace of mind when you choose kindness in dealing with your child who for just a second might very well resemble a tiny insane person!

It won't always be easy to find confidence and patience, but the next time one of your own loses their mind, just sit in the embarrassment, take a deep breath and muster the strength to handle that little being with the utmost care and concern! Because in the end, love is the greatest disciplinary tool of ALL!

When Your Kid's Just Like YOU!

Recently, I took a hard look at me and realized that my 6 year old was so much like his momma. For a second I was terrified, then I was overcome with calm and inspired. I realized that I was "battling" with my son more than letting him naturally be who he was, in fact, it was chaos. Two of us rushing, two of us passionate about any given thing and losing our tempers simultaneously. Imagine those fireworks. 

I decided to begin complementing my son to the I best of my ability instead of "butting-heads" as we often did. I decided to be exactly what he needed at any given time. So when he wants to talk, I listen. I do my best to actually listen without interrupting. This is not one of my virtues, but I try. I am patient in his haste. I am calm in his intensity. I do my best to be what he needs even if it isn't my norm. I have come to appreciate so much of who I am in experiencing who he is becoming. 

He's very competitive even aggressive when it comes to winning sports or boardgames. He is independent and can be impatient and temperamental. None of those things are bad, but too much of anything can be challenging. So, I adjust me for him while doing my best to show him how I channel stubbornness and impatience. I also strive to not take things too personally. Now even for a seasoned parent this is a tough one. Kids will hurt our feelings and as much as we think us adults can handle it. We are still who we are and in my case, I can be sensitive. I can be stubborn. So I work on it and I reach for the lovable me when he's temperamental or the kind me when he's impatient.

And as the years go on and our personality traits join together, in sync, well I'd say: watch out world! We're both ready to move mountains as a family unit and I believe that together we can, even if there's a whole lot of beautiful "fireworks" to be managed along the way.