It's exactly what I want (oldest to youngest). It'll be sad, sure. I'm the youngest of six. To bury them all will be hard, but it's what I want.
It's no accident I'm six months older than my husband. I want him to bury me and then our kids will bury him. I just couldn't live an instant on this earth without him.
My father is first in line. He's the oldest. And today I get a call about how sick he is. I knew the call would come, some day. He's hospitalized and deteriorating. I wonder if I should go to him?
What would you do?
If this is in fact his time, do I make the journey abroad, as a daughter should do, to see my father before he leaves this earth? Or do I take a page from his playbook and decide to be selfish. Do I let it be? Stay put and not land in a world that is his and his alone. He left our family for his family abroad. He has his children there. He is their father.
Here, he was never a good or present father. He however was (and is) my dad. He is handsome, charasmatic and always so funny. He is also the angriest person I've ever known. He was a terrible father, but he was my father and the reason I'm here on earth. He's the parent my mother taught me to acknowledge, respect and forgive.
What would you do?
He's leaving this world in the right order. It's what I wanted and it's sad. I think of my father and I can't help but think about how much I love him even if he was so hard to love.
He'll be in heaven soon and maybe then he'll get to know me and my children. Maybe then he'll get our names straight. Maybe then he'll see just how alike we are and how much he missed out on being my dad.
What would you do?
I don't want to bury him. That I know. But I do believe I should at least kiss him goodbye.
What would you do?
